Fears

Five more weeks. Five more weeks, give or take a few days, until I become a mother. Five more weeks to get the nursery finished. Five more weeks until there is a baby in our house. Five more weeks until our marriage changes forever. Five more weeks until our lives change forever.

I am freaking out.

I have so many stresses and fears running through my mind. Am I going to be a good caretaker? Am I going to be nurturing enough? Am I going to be able to remember everything we learned in our classes? Am I going to be able to take care of “boy parts?” Am I going to be able to raise a human being to become God-fearing? Am I going to continue to be a loving and attentive wife? Am I going to stay sane?!

These are just a handful of the fears running through my mind. Yes, everyone says I’ll be a good mother, but it wasn’t until last night’s sermon that I felt a little better.

Our sermon was titled “Never Give Up!” and it centered on perseverance. Now, the preacher was referring to more serious or tragic life events, but this to me is the biggest thing I’ve gone through yet. Here are a few of the verses he mentioned:

·         Romans 5:3-4: And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

·         1 Timothy 6:11: But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

·         2 Peter 1:5-9: But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, ⁶ to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, ⁷ to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. ⁸ For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.

·         James 1:12: Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

·         2 Timothy 4:6-8: ⁶ For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

 I hope these will get me through the sleepless nights, the budget struggles, the natural tensions of a marriage, and all the many things that come with a baby.